“The core challenge isn't about how to get everything done – that's never going to happen – but how to decide most wisely what not to do.”

– Oliver Burkeman

I’ll start with a confession – this week's edition on how to build and lead high performance teams isn't landing in your inbox. And it’s because of my mother. 

I love studying the behaviours and environments that create high performance teams, as the dynamics are fascinating (and frequently ignored or misunderstood). 

But it’s a complex subject and while I’d done a first draft, I realised that to finish it to the standards I set myself, I’d need to work on it during my mum’s visit. 

I'll be honest – she's so easy-going she'd have happily sat reading a book while I finished. And that’s exactly what the old me would have done – lost in the glamorisation of busy I’d have sat with my mother… but I wouldn’t have truly been present.  

I made a call. Time is precious. Time is finite. The teams newsletter can wait. 

Which led me here.

Discipline, habits, rituals – these are some of the most powerful tools a high performer has. I believe that completely. I actively preach that with our clients. I’ve built my own life around them. 

But here's what's worth sitting with: they can quietly develop a silent cost you never intended.

That focus on leading from the front and showing up all the time – brilliant, until it makes you say no to a holiday with the people you care about most.

The workout routine that's non-negotiable – brilliant, until it makes you say no to doing something spontaneous with people you care about. 

That weekly structure you pride yourself on – brilliant, until it makes you delay trying that new experience you keep on talking about. 

Discipline is right about 90% of the time. But it can become a silent straitjacket that constrains you from fully expressing your true self. 

So this week, I’ll leave you with one provocation:

Reading this isn’t an action in itself. If you accept the truth of my words, what are you going to commit to doing differently? 

BTW, my mother Elizabeth is 82 and my greatest role model. At the age of 51, she went off and travelled on the Trans-Siberian Express from Moscow to Irkutsk, before heading into Mongolia and then through China, at a time where it was still largely closed off to the outside world. She became mayor of our home town at the age of 79, which on one occasion saw her riding down the High Street on the back of a Harley Davidson. She was even in Pikes in Ibiza until 1am the night after my wedding – not bad for a 76-year-old. 

We should all be a little bit more Liz.

J.

🔥  LIVE BETTER, LEAD BETTER  

The best content I researched this week:

I’m deliberately keeping this to one source, as this dropped into my inbox on Friday and it blew me away. It only takes 5 minutes to read, but it may completely change how you think about your relationships:

1. “Someone is either helping create your ideal self, or pushing you further away from it. There is no inbetween.” says author Sahil Bloom. His explanation of the Michelangelo Phenomenon will make you realise that every single person in your circle is a sculptor of your future.