“You're never going to have a perfect day out there. And once you understand that, truly understand that, then you can go out there and just play free.”

– Sam Darnold

I've been in the States this week, and on Sunday night I did something I've always wanted to do – watched the Super Bowl live in an American bar.

If you're not into American football, don’t worry. Because the real story behind this game is that of a comeback and the lessons I’m sharing from it are universal.

I enjoyed the game itself, a wonderful blend of art and science, but what stayed with me was witnessing what a real-life comeback actually looks like. Not the sanitised Hollywood version. The messy, unglamorous, seven-year version that nobody would have scripted.

Here's the short version.

In 2018, Quarterback Sam Darnold was picked third overall in the NFL Draft — one of the highest honours a young player can receive. He was supposed to be the guy who turned the struggling New York Jets into winners. He was 21 years old and the weight of an entire franchise was on his shoulders.

It didn't go well.

During his second season, he had a disastrous game being intercepted four times in a 33-0 defeat. To make matters worse it was a nationally televised game and he was caught on a hot mic saying three words that would define him for years: "I'm seeing ghosts”. It went viral for all the wrong reasons and became a meme. It became his label and labels stick. In the eyes of the football world, he was done.

Over the next five years, he was traded, benched, reduced to a backup, and passed from team to team. Most people had written his career off entirely.

Last Sunday, that same guy led the Seattle Seahawks to Super Bowl victory against the New England Patriots.

Sitting there watching it unfold, I couldn't stop thinking about what it actually took to get from that moment to this one. Because it wasn't the story most people tell about comebacks. It was something more interesting.

I went down the rabbit hole. I reflected on the lessons that all of us can extract from his journey. And I wrote. 

Here are the five lessons that are relevant to all of us:

1. Your Worst Moment Is Not Your Identity

"Seeing ghosts" became Darnold's label. A single bad night under the lights became shorthand for failure.

However, his coach in Seattle, Mike Macdonald, said it well: "Everyone made a narrative about this guy. They tried to put a story and a label on who he is. He. Does. Not. Care."

What this means for you: It’s so easy to have a bad moment in your career and decide it defines you. You need to separate the issue from the person. You also need to recognise that such a crucible moment is also a dramatic accelerant of learning and growth if you embrace the lessons that emerge from it. 

2. You Can't Come Back In The Wrong Environment

This is the part most people miss. Darnold didn't suddenly become a different player. He found the right place.

Regular readers will know how strongly I feel about how the power and influence of environmental design is consistently under-estimated.

The Jets were the definition of a dysfunctional organisation when Darnold was there – no stability and a culture that burned through talent. When Darnold moved to San Francisco as a backup in 2023, he sat behind their starting quarterback and quietly rebuilt his game. Then Minnesota gave him a real chance. Then Seattle gave him the platform to bring it all together.

What made Seattle different was simple. The offensive system was designed around his strengths and he already knew the coordinator from their time together in San Francisco, so he wasn't starting from scratch. He was building on a foundation that already existed.

Same player. Different system. Completely different outcome.

What this means for you: Look at the system you're operating in. Have you designed it in a way that allows you to show up at your best? As for your team, are you optimizing their chances of success through environmental design? To give you a tangible example, I recommended one client get a virtual assistant for diary management and all simple admin – incredibly cost-effective and gave them hours back to focus on what they do best. 

3. The Path Back Is Never A Straight Line

If you plotted Darnold's career on a graph, it wouldn't look like a classic comeback. It would look like a mess. Jets (disaster). Panthers (mediocre). 49ers (backup). Vikings (breakthrough year, then a humiliating playoff exit). Seahawks (Super Bowl champion). Even this season (obviously his best) he led the entire league in turnovers. The ‘bust’ narrative came roaring back. Then he went through three playoff games without a single one.

Roger Federer made a point in his Dartmouth commencement speech that I use a lot when I’m working with talent. He won 80% of his matches across his career, but only 54% of the points he played. One of the greatest tennis players of all time lost almost every other point. His response? “When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot.”

That's the bit most people miss about comebacks (and careers in general). If you're only focusing on your ‘scoreboard’, it can ironically end up as a distraction that affects your performance. 

What this means for you:  Leadership has never been more volatile and in a fast-paced business world, variables that you can’t legislate for are always going to come at you. You will need to recalibrate, but in essence you need to maintain your focus on your inputs – the preparation, the process, the next play. These are the controllables and if you do your best work here, the outcomes start to take care of themselves.

4. Belief Is A Team Sport

This is the one most people get wrong about comebacks. We tell them as solo journeys. The lone hero who never stopped believing. It’s the classic Hollywood play.

But let’s be clear, that's not what happened here.

After Darnold threw four interceptions in a regular season game, his teammate Ernest Jones went to the press conference and said: “Sam’s been balling. If we want to define Sam by this game – Sam's had us in every game. For him to sit there and say 'that's my fault,' no it's not… We got his back.”

Another teammate, Cooper Kupp, wore an “I ❤️ Sam Darnold” shirt to the Super Bowl media day. Not as a joke. As a statement.

We think of leadership as one-way,  but Darnold's story also shows how at its best, it works both ways. His teammates' belief in him gave him permission to keep backing himself when the rest of the world had moved on.

What this means for you: Most leaders think belief flows one way — from the top down. But in high performing teams, belief flows in both directions. And for those of you who aren't the CEO or the founder, note that Ernest Jones didn't wait to be asked. He saw his leader under fire and stepped up publicly. That's managing up as a skill. Not politics. Not flattery. Just having the conviction and courage to back the people above you when you know the results aren’t painting the full picture.

Two questions worth sitting with:

• When did you last tell someone on your team, clearly and directly, that you believe in them? 

• Have you created the kind of culture where they'd do the same for you?

5. The Real Unlock Is Permission To Be Imperfect

During Super Bowl week, Darnold said something worth reading twice:

"You're never going to have a perfect day out there. And once you understand that, truly understand that, then you can go out there and just play free. That really unlocked something for me mentally."

This is a critical thing for any leader to understand. Darnold understood it wasn’t about doubling down on preparation. Putting in more hours. Grinding harder. The shift was giving himself permission to be imperfect – and to move on without carrying every mistake into the next play.

Science backs this up. A 2019 study published in Nature tracked patterns of failure across science, startups and security and found that the defining difference between those who eventually succeeded and those who didn't wasn't talent, luck or effort. It was how quickly they learned from each failure and applied it to their next attempt. The ones who made it didn't fail less. They iterated faster.

What this means for you: It’s so easy to end up carrying the weight of every bad call or every missed opportunity with you. That weight doesn't make you sharper. It makes you slower. You need to get rid of your ghosts.

The price of leadership is that you are going to make mistakes. The highest performers aren't the ones who never get it wrong. They're the ones who process it, learn from it, and let it go – and speed is everything here.

Comebacks are always possible. The key is reframing failure, being intentional about growth and giving yourself the permission to play free.

And never forget life is a team sport. We’re here so you don’t have to do it alone. 

🔥  LIVE BETTER, LEAD BETTER  

The best content I researched this week:

1. Atomic Habits author James Clear’s latest newsletter is a must-read, as it couldn’t be more relevant to the power of comebacks. As the man himself says: “Results tend to find the person who stays in the game.”

2. The 4 habits that create wildly compounding returns in your life are revealed in this 2-minute video from author and investor Graham Weaver.

3. When the team behind the Excellence, Actually podcast say their latest episode, The Olympian’s Guide To Handling Pressure, is more densely packed with wisdom than any episode they’ve ever released, I’m sure as hell going to listen. You should too.

4. And signing off this week with 86 seconds of inspiration from endurance athlete and podcaster Rich Roll on what to remember when all hope feels lost. The perfect message to inspire a comeback.