“Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking."

– J.C. Watts

This is the last Prime Perspective of 2025. I'll be practising what I preach and going offline for the festive period, so the next edition will drop on January 4. 

Originally, I was going to do a 'Best of 2025' round-up to give you key themes to reflect on. But then two very different things happened. And I tore the script up.

One involved the tragic incident on Bondi Beach, the other was a conversation in Soho Mews House with an entrepreneur. 

Because in very different ways, both reinforced something I feel very strongly about: leadership isn't about your role. It's about how you choose to live your life.

Character Over Status 

In a world increasingly dominated by performative noise, there’s a tendency to view leadership through a binary lens of a job title.

The last time I checked, I didn’t see too many LinkedIn ‘Top Voices’ shouting about fruit vendors, yet last week 43-year-old Ahmed Al-Ahmed displayed leadership in its purest form.

When gunmen opened fire on families celebrating Hanukkah, he charged at one of the gunmen and wrestled away his rifle. He was shot twice during his heroic act.

He's a Muslim man who came to Australia from Syria. The people he saved were Jewish families marking one of their most sacred celebrations.

There was no expectation that this was his responsibility. There was no incentive for him to act. 

That's what leadership actually looks like when you strip away all the corporate theatre.

Leadership Is How You Live

And so to Soho Mews House, for a meeting I had on Wednesday afternoon – a world away from Bondi in every sense.

The entrepreneur I was meeting has had a brutal year by any measure, on the personal and professional fronts. Any one of the situations he’s faced would constitute a huge challenge; together it’s been a maelstrom. 

In business you tend to only hear the success stories, and as we sat there together, surrounded by groups celebrating long Christmas lunches, the contrast between the setting and his reality was stark.

On a superficial level it would have looked like the classic festive scene, us as part of a party crowd in a members’ club.

In many ways it felt like a metaphor for leadership itself – everything looking like the good life from the outside, but beneath the surface far more complex and challenging. And most people will never understand the demands it makes and the toll it can take. 

As I walked away from our meeting, my empathy for his situation was only surpassed by my respect for his character. His leadership.

There was a quiet dignity about his actions and reflections – an acceptance of responsibility for the swings he’d taken that had missed (his words) and a stoic determination to handle his current predicament as best he can. Not just for himself, but for everyone around him. 

We spoke about ‘The Hard Thing About Hard Things’ by Ben Horowitz and how words take on a different meaning when you are living a situation rather than hypothesising  about it. 

It reinforced why I do what I do – because leadership is tough, it’s demanding and it can be bl**dy lonely. That’s why I have nothing but respect for those of you in the arena trying to do the right thing. Especially as it’s also frequently the hard thing.

My Message To Reflect On

Leadership isn't something you switch on when you walk into the office and switch off when you leave.

It's not a performance you deliver in meetings or a persona you adopt for town halls.

It's who you are. It's how you act when it costs you something. It's what you do when no one's keeping score.

Ahmed demonstrated this in the most visceral way possible. But the quiet conversation I had in that crowded room was, in its own way, just as meaningful. 

Character isn't about the big dramatic moments. It's built in the accumulation of small choices, day after day, when you're tired or frustrated or under pressure.

Ahmed didn’t suddenly become that man. He was already that man. It just took an extreme situation for the rest of the world to see it. 

The entrepreneur is that man. It’s just the reality of hard things means some people will never see it. 

The Hard Thing Is Frequently The Right Thing 

I've worked with enough leaders to know that most of you wrestle with this tension constantly. Life is messy, complicated and full of trade-offs. 

The gap between who you want to be and the compromises you have to make.

The values you espouse versus the behaviour you tolerate.

The person you are at work versus the person you are everywhere else.

But your values, integrity and authentic self can together act as the compass to steer you through. 

That's what I mean when I say leadership is how you live your life, not just how you perform your role.

As we close out this year, I want you to reflect on what kind of leader you want to be. 

Ahmed showed us what that looks like – a Muslim man risking his life to defend Jewish people celebrating their faith. Not just heroic. Beautiful. A lesson about unity, about values, about refusing to let hatred or fear dictate your choices.

The entrepreneur showed me what that looks like – trying to make the right choices for his family and for his team, despite the toll it is taking on him. Despite the fact many of those he is trying to support will never understand his burden or feel how heavy it weighs. 

The principle scales: do the right thing, even when it costs you something, regardless of whether anyone's watching or whether it's “your responsibility”.

That's leadership. That's character. That's integrity.

Have a brilliant festive period with your loved ones. Rest properly. Come back energised.

And remember: you don't need a title to lead. You just need to choose to do the right thing. Especially when it’s the hard thing.

🔥  LIVE BETTER, LEAD BETTER  

The best content I researched this week:

I’ve consumed some great stuff this week, but given my message today, I'm keeping this simple. Please just reflect on this:

1. I’m deliberately focusing here on what will help set you up for success next year. So we’re kicking off with Stoicism author Ryan Holiday’s secret to better habits in 2026. A 5-minute read with 11 bits of practical yet provocative advice on how to achieve meaningful change – time to ‘Think Small’ and ‘Accept Mediocrity’!

2. Performance coach Steve Magness is someone I’ve learnt a lot from and once again he’s right on the money here, with why goal-setting alone isn’t enough. This line in particular really resonated with me and ties in perfectly with Ryan Holiday’s article as well: “Too often, we hear that we should set big hairy audacious goals or SMART goals. But the reality is that unless that goal is the next step, or we can see it, it ultimately can backfire.”

3. Here's another thing worth understanding: your beliefs are not facts. Check out this piece from former Olympian Steve Mesler and you’ll grasp just how powerful your mindset can be when you understand how to apply it properly. As he puts it: “Beliefs are what you think. Mindsets are how you think.”

3. And finally, a festive message from me to you via the wise words of Dr Mark Hyman…